AsktheBuilder.com Issue #1246 (I think)

August 20, 2023

Dear ,

Are you a brand new subscriber? Greetings and solutions as my dear departed father-in-law would say.

This is a RARE issue. It has NOTHING to do with home improvement but EVERYTHING to do with improving the quality of your life.

Go grab a cup of your favorite liquid refreshment and sit back and relax. I feel you're about to experience an interesting and uplifting read.

What's in This Issue

You're about to discover:

• Hole in One Story

Let's get started.

"In reality, they're not after me. They're after you. I'm just in the way." GOAT

"Your own government lies as a matter of course, as a matter of policy. The Tuskegee experiments on black men in the 30s, Henrietta Lacks...digital money will disappear." Fox Mulder

My Hole in One ⛳

This past Monday I experienced a very rare event. I made a hole in one playing golf. If you're not a golfer, it's quite rare. The odds are 1:12,500. You can only do this with your first shot off the tee.

Most holes-in-one are made on par-3 holes. There are usually four of these on a regulation course. Pay 3,125 rounds of golf and somewhere in that span of time you'll probably achieve a hole-in-one. That's lots of golf! And expensive! You could easily invest $187,000 trying to get a hole in one.

As you might suspect, there's a tale tied to what happened to me on Monday. Better yet, I feel there's a valuable teaching moment for you if you find yourself mired in the muck of life. Lately, I've been mired in the muck of very poor golf. Look at my official GHIN handicap:

Three months ago that number was 30.1. I'm going the wrong direction for goodness sake. You want that number above to be a single digit, not two. Better yet, it would be amazing if the number was zero. Achieve that and you could find yourself on the Senior Tour.

Understand that golf is a very hard game. Mind-numbing hard. To get people to laugh who are wandering about looking for their OWN lost balls, I had this put on my golf balls that they'll undoubtedly find in the woods.

When they pick up my ball in the weeds or from the forest floor, you can hear them say out loud, "Well you old goat whoever you are, it looks like it's HARD for you to stay out of the woods!"

The Backstory

I feel you need some context. I just started playing golf seriously fifteen months ago. Months before I became friends with Bill who lives in Maine. He's a ranger at a golf course in Auburn, Maine. Think of a ranger as a policeman sans billy club, gun, uniform, handcuffs, and badge. All most have is a flag that says RANGER on their patrol golf cart. They don't even have squirt guns, but I bet Bill wishes he did on some days.

Rangers are in charge of making sure golfers don't damage the course. They also make sure golfers don't dilly dally around spending too much time looking for balls holding up other golfers. It's all about maintaining pace of play.

Bill and I were talking one January 2022 day and he asked about my hobbies. Golf came up. I told him how infrequent I played and how I did like the game but was frustrated with my poor skills.

Prior to talking with Bill I would play golf maybe twice or three times a year. I'd skip playing for several years. My sticks would sit up in the shed gathering dust. The bag would have been a great hotel for mice had I not mouse-proofed the shed.

10,000 Hours

"If you want to get better, you must play regularly. Join a friendly league at your local course," Bill suggested. I accepted his challenge last spring and loved playing 9 holes each Thursday afternoon. 

I joined a different league this year where I have a partner. As of this issue my partner Ed and I are in 1st place with but one match to go. We should make the playoffs and who knows, maybe be the league champions. That's a story for another day maybe. 

Malcom Gladwell agrees with Bill's advice. Read Malcom's Outliers book and you'll discover that 10,000 hours is a key number to get really good at doing anything.

Last year when the teams were drawn for the league, I met Bill O'Meara. He's a real retired police officer. We've become best golf buddies. Bill and I are pretty much evenly matched. Bill witnessed my hole in one and was more overjoyed than I was. More on that in a moment. Here we both are minutes after discovering my ball in the hole.

Invest in Knowledge

I had so much fun last year, I decided to take my own advice that I often share in this newsletter. How many times have I BEGGED you to INVEST in sage wisdom from those who know more about something than you do? Each month I usually share a sad story about a homeowner that chooses not to invest. They often end up in deep financial trouble because of that poor decision.

That said, I signed up for lessons over this past winter from the assistant pro, Kevin Goddu, Ph.d., at Lochmere Country Club in Tilton, NH. That's my home course.

I quickly discovered I didn't know how to swing a golf club the right way. It's all about swing path, release, keeping your head down looking at the ball, rotation of your upper body, rotating your hips as the club approaches the ball, and quite a few other nuances. Suffice it to say I was doing more things wrong than two young boys armed with BB guns on a summer day.

The lessons put me on the right track. Kevin's a fantastic teacher and a specialist in the mental aspect of the game. No matter what sport you play, there's a great chance you can do better employing knowledge found in his books and lessons.

Monday's Game

Allow me to cut to the chase of the hole-in-one. Monday I went to Loudon Country Club in central New Hampshire. For whatever reason, many public golf courses in NH call themselves country clubs.

Loudon is a working-man's course that's a little rough around the edges. The cart paths are all gravel where they exist. Believe me, it's not a true country club. That said, with all the wet weather we've had this year the course is lush and in great shape. The greens are in superb condition.

My buddy Bill set up the game and one of his neighbors, Rich Lieberman joined us. Normally Bob Kundra would play but he had a conflict.

The week before I had my worst game of the past two years. I was still stinging from that horrible outing. I blamed the poor play on the three hours of sleep I got the night before. My daughter Meghan would say, "Dad, excuses are reasons for failures." Yep, I failed that day with a score of 116.

Monday started out just the same. Far too many 6's, 7's and an occasional snowman. Do that and your score after 9 holes gets to the mid 50s with little effort.

We made the turn and it got worse. On hole 15 I got a ten. On 16 I got an 8. Are you KIDDING ME?

Bill knew I was internalizing all of this. He didn't say anything. He's no dummy. There's not much you can say to a golfer that's struggling.

Maybe It's Time to Quit

I'm not sure if the sign is still there but in the primary locker room at Roger Bacon High School in Cincinnati there was a sign above the door leading out of the room. It said:

Quitters Never Win. Winners Never Quit

As I sat down in the cart to drive to the 17th tee, I actually thought, "Maybe it's time to quit. I SUCK at this game." It was a fleeting thought. For those that know me well, I'm not a quitter.

But when your score on the card starts to rise faster than the temperature climbs on a blistering summer morning, it's easy for negative thoughts to creep into your mind.

The Challenge

I had only played at Loudon one other time back four months ago on a chilly early spring day. Once we got to the 17th tee, I recognized the hole. It's an over-the-water hole. It's all carry. You make the green or you get wet. Here is the 17th hole at Loudon Country Club.

I have a nifty Garmin GPS Approach watch that tells me all the information about any hole at 44,000 golf courses around the world. It said I was 127 yards from the center of the green. On Monday the hole placement was forward on the lower tier. I estimated it was 119 yards away.

As you can see from the photo, there's a hill between the pond and the green. The grass was a little long so if you were short, it may hang up in the grass. If you have backspin on the ball, it's possible it would jump into the water like a child off a boat dock on July 4th.

There was a very slight breeze blowing from the tee box to the green. I decided my 8 iron was the club to use. Realize I was still in a foul mood and wishing the round was over. Bill and Rich had already hit. Rich's ball was just on the fringe of the green having barely made it. Bill's ball went right to the landing area to the right of the green.

I teed up my ball. It had giant TC letters on it in red. It looked like a kindergartener had scrawled them on the ball. I used the shaft of the club against my thighs to get my feet set. All I do is align the tips of my saddle shoes with the shaft pointing directly at the pin.

Following Kevin's advice, I set up, inhaled, slowly exhaled, paused one second and swung. I kept my head locked in position and I clearly saw the club head hit the ball perfectly square.

Calculus

If you've played golf, you know that your brain does amazing calculus in a second. In case you've struggled at algebra, or any other math, calculus is the mathematics of curves. Golf balls typically have a curved flight path.

A half-second after striking the ball, I lifted my head and looked up. I could instantly tell the ball flight was heading directly for the hole. It was now just a matter of distance.

"Tim, look at that! It's going right for the hole!" Bill was standing behind me watching the show. He was very excited.

As the ball started to fall to the green, we lost it. The angle of the sun created a strong glare on the green. It was impossible for the three of us to see where the ball landed. I was confident the ball was on the green. Of that there was no doubt in my mind.

What the Hell?

I walked to the cart, hopped in and drove around the pond. Approaching the green I looked to find the ball. It was nowhere to be seen.

Instantly I slipped back in my foul mood. "How in the HELL could the ball fly the green?" I shook my head, grabbed my pitching wedge and putter and started to walk to the back of the green hunting for the small white orb.

Believe me, the ball would be visible on the back hill or in the grass between the hill and the green. I saw NOTHING. Now I was really in a bad mood. I thought, "Are you serious? The ball went BEHIND the hill?"

Bill yelled at me from 25 yards away, "Hey, look in the cup. It might be there."

I didn't respond but thought, "There's no way it's in the hole."

I walked over and looked down.

There it was with the red chicken-scratch TC looking up at me.

It was surreal. I actually couldn't believe it and started to shout, "WOO HOO WOO HOO!" I didn't jump up and down but maybe I should have done a victory lap around the green.

Bill and Rich immediately came over and shared in the excitement shaking my hand. Neither of them had ever witnessed a hole-in-one.

I don't remember taking the ball out of the cup but I immediately retired it knowing I'm going to frame it.

Bill and Rich putted out, we went to the 18th tee and finished the round. I just missed a par on 18 with my ball stopping about one inch from the hole. 

Maybe I shouldn't quit.

A Man's Got to Know His Limitations

Three days later we all went back to Loudon to play again. At 4 in the morning that day, I woke up thinking, "You are such a DUMB ASS. Why are you trying to play like a PRO when you're not one?"

You see, I set a goal for myself back in the spring to play bogey golf. This simply means scoring one over par for each hole. It's a very respectable goal since the average golfer shoots 100 in a round. That's almost double-bogey golf.

I decided to do something I had thought about months before but didn't do because I THOUGHT I could make the green in regulation. I can hit the ball 180, 190, or 200 yards once on the fairway. But do they always end up on or close to the green?

Heck no! If you lose a ball or it goes out of bounds penalty strokes add up faster than your recent grocery bill.

Instead of taking two shots to get to the green on a par 4 days ago, I decided to take three shots. This means I wouldn't swing out of my shoes off the tee. It meant that I would take shorter shots out on the fairway that had a high percentage of staying on the fairway marching closer and closer to the green.

Here's a true story of  what happens when you take low-percentage shots. Just three weeks before, Bill, Rich, Bob and I were playing at a different course. I had hit a decent drive and was on the fairway looking down at the hole.

The green was 190 yards away protected by two sand-filled bunkers on the front edge. There was a 15-foot-wide strip of grass between the two bunkers tempting you to try to make it without becoming Lawrence of Arabia.

I thought, "Hells bells, my hybrid 3 will easily get me on that green."

I addressed the ball, swung and struck it perfectly. The ball soared towards the green but landed six feet to the left of the grass strip in the sand six inches away from a one-foot-tall wall. FOUR SHOTS LATER I was finally on the green. I got an 8 for that hole.

That's what happens when you take a low-percentage shot.

My 4 AM epiphany worked!! I played much better just days ago using my new method. My game around the green was spot on. I was chipping so well that I had six one-putts.

What's the Message?

If you're in a bad place right now, don't quit. Kick those bad thoughts to the curb.

An hour or day from now you may have your own success that will only happen if you DON'T QUIT.

Remember, I could have just driven from the 16th green to my truck. I know others have done this.

But I didn't and once-in-a-lifetime magic happened.

Magic can and will happen in your life if you let it.

Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel - The BEST Love Story of all time - well, maybe a close second...

That's enough for a summer Sunday morning.

Peace out.

FORE! ⛳

Tim Carter (PhD, FullyAwakeology)

Founder - www.AsktheBuilder.com

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Do It Right, Not Over!