AsktheBuilder.com News - November 6, 2022

Issue #1206 (I think...)

Dear ,

Are you a new subscriber? Welcome. You're in for a special treat today.

If you're a seasoned subscriber and could chat with one of our new subscribers, my guess is you'd say, "Something big happened to Tim in the past week. This is one of his teaching-moment newsletters that's light on home improvement and heavy in a life lesson or two. Trust me, sit back and let this soak in. What Tim's about to share could be life-changing for you. Next week he'll serve up a big ol' helping of home improvement."

There was no newsletter last Sunday on October 30th. You may have been one of the many who reached out in response to the vacuum to ask if I was okay. I deeply appreciate your concern.

I was in Cincinnati, Ohio - the town of my birth - last Sunday. I had been there for the previous five days and was preparing to leave to return to New Hampshire on Halloween the next day.

While I had hoped to have a newsletter for you, I received some unexpected news as I was driving to Cincinnati. I found myself adrift most of the week.

My plan was to cobble together a newsletter early each day while I was in town. I'm a morning person, it's pitch black in Cincinnati this time of year until about 7:30 AM, so I had hours each morning to get something done for you. 

That said, I just couldn't focus, so you were left hanging out to dry over the middle of the football field like an outstretched wide receiver.

Dr. Kilinc

The primary purpose of my trip was to attend a retirement party for one of my geology professors, Dr. Attila Kilinc. I didn't dare ask him how old he was but he seemed middle-age to me when I was a 20-year-old geology student!

Dr. Kilinc was a hard-rock geologist. The formal name is petrologist. He was an intense teaching scientist and I presented him with an unusual paperweight I made from a piece of the Meredith Porphyritic Granite (Mpg). 

The piece of exquisite granite was create hundreds of millions of years ago miles under the surface but exposed to daylight for the first time this summer. A giant jack-hammer machine chipped away at the bedrock to create the foundation hole for a new house. Many feel the Mpg the most beautiful rock in all of New England.

I was sure Dr. Kilinc had touched hundreds, perhaps thousands, of pieces of granite in his career, but not the Mpg. It turns out I was right. He was quite pleased to get the white and black rock with a huge orthoclase feldspar phenocryst and tiny sparkling flecks of mica in it.

The Shooting Star

As I approached Cincinnati driving down I-71, I felt like I had just handed over my six tickets to grab the front seat on the Shooting Star roller coaster at Coney Island.

Just like the ups and downs on the coaster track, the trip was a mix of incredible joy and happiness and a pinch of disappointment. Allow me to share what happened during the week as I think it might have a meaningful impact on you.

Just moments ago I was laying in the dark of my hotel room in Scranton, PA. It was 4:30 AM and I had slept somewhat soundly for seven hours. I was going to visit Steamtown National Historic Site in a few hours and was just waiting for the park to open.

As I lay in bed looking up at the ceiling, I was mesmerized by the reflection of the flickering flames of the gas-fueled fire pit outside my window. The orange fingers of fire danced across the ceiling in the room.

I was replaying the previous week in my head thinking how I might make your life better by sharing important pieces of my trip.

Lots of Friends

You might need some context. When you live in one city for over fifty-five years, you accumulate countless memories and friends.

Before I departed from New Hampshire, I was quite certain this was going to be my last trip to Cincinnati. I can't put my finger on why I felt that way, but it was an intense deep feeling.

I had to make really hard decisions about who I'd see while I was in town. It wasn't easy and I had to be very selective who I'd spend time with. In past visits, In the past, I'd create lists of friends and then spend time with different groups each trip.

If I wanted to see all of my friends in one trip, I'd probably have to spend three months in Cincy.

My first visit was with a friend I've known for almost forty years.We're the same age but he's in declining health. We had a bunch of great laughs and as I drove away to check into my modern East End loft, a wave of sadness about his situation washed over me.

My thoughts drifted to how I switched careers at age 41. Had I continued on being a hands-on builder, I'm quite sure I'd be crippled by now or even dead. 

Carrying around 16-foot-long southern-yellow pine 2x12s all day is like driving down the expressway at 70 mph with a locked up brake caliper. 

Transitioning to a columnist removed vast amounts of stress from my life and reduced the wear and tear on my body. I actually think becoming Ask the Builder has added twenty years to my life.

But what do I know about anything? I used to eat lunch for 20+ years sitting on empty overturned drywall mud buckets.

Roger

Here's a photo of one of my childhood friends and me I captured last week. Roger and I were in Metamora, Indiana standing next to the historic Whitewater Canal very late in the day.

It was the golden hour with the sun very low in the sky. Roger and I traveled north from his Oldenburg, Indiana house to do a Parks on the Air radio activation.

As crazy as this may sound, Roger has had his amateur radio license for over thirty years but had never made a high-frequency (HF) contact. HF contacts are the ones that can span thousands of miles.

Minutes before this photo was taken, I helped Roger make his first international (DX) contact sitting at that picnic table behind us.

While that may not seem like much to you, it meant the world to Roger and the other operator who was on an island off the coast of Venezuela. It was a magical moment for me too. I only wish I had the foresight to record the short conversation.

Joel Suggs - Master PGA Teacher

Hours before meeting with Roger, I was with a very good friend, Joel Suggs. Joel is a PGA professional golfer and makes a living teaching hackers like me how to stop hitting the ball about 110 times per game and play real golf.

He and I played 9 holes at the delightful Woodlands course west of downtown Cincinnati. We both laughed quite hard the three times on the fairway where I got to say, "Joel, it looks like you're away."

If you're a non-golfer, that means I drove my tee shot farther than Joel did. To be fair, Joel kept his driver in his bag all morning and teed off using his 3-wood. Woodlands is a shorter course and I'm guessing that he prefers the distance his 3-wood produces.

The main axiom Joel teaches is distance. It's always about distance and less about aim. This is mission-critical on or around the green. If you miss the hole, you want the ball to stop within 2 feet, or less, from it. 

This is the major mistake most hackers make. On the green they're so focused on AIM that when they hit the ball it stops short or races past the hole by 8 feet or more. Making this grave error can add18 strokes at a minimum to your scorecard.

I also beat Joel on the par 3 #8 hole. He had a huge grin on his face when he plucked his bogey putt from the hole as he knew how MUCH it meant to me to beat a pro on a hole!

Joel also exorcised the deep fade and sometimes slice that had been plaguing me. He also gave a master class in exactly how to score in the low 80s. "Tim, you'll be doing that from now on. There's just one tiny part of your game that needs work."

Missed Meetings

Sadly I was unable to see several very good friends. They were unable to carve out time to get together. You can imagine how sad I was knowing I may never see them again face-to-face.

I didn't let them know I might never come back to Cincinnati so as to not put pressure on them. Looking back through the lens of one week of time, perhaps that was a mistake.

Any other trip I would have just shrugged my shoulders, but me knowing I might not come back to Cincinnati, it was a deep disappointment for me.

I was able to end the stay on a high note. I had brunch last Sunday with two of my grade school classmates, Linda and Karen. We rehashed funny and awkward moments from sixty years ago.

Sunday night I had a wonderful dinner of delicious grilled salmon and a tasty vegetable medley at Nick and Mary Beth's stunning home in Mt. Washington.

Nick is a very dear friend of mine. I met him when he was in high school. At the time, I was building a wonderful room addition for his parents. Years ago Kathy and I attended Nick and Mary Beth's wedding reception on the banks of the Ohio River.

Nick and Mary Beth were kind enough to let me stay in a stunning modern AirBnB loft they own in the vibrant East End. It's a convenient location close to my old stomping grounds on the east side of Cincinnati.

If you're traveling to Cincinnati and want to stay at a fantastic one-bedroom loft, I'm happy to connect you with Nick and Mary Beth.

I can hear you now, "Tim, what in the heck does all this mean? What's in this newsletter for me?

As I lay wide awake just two hours ago, I thought about the powerful line that Old Rose said in the remake of The Titanic movie.

"You look for treasure in the wrong place, Mr. Lovett. Only life is precious...and making each day count."

Go listen to Rose say the words. Replay it several times. Let her words sink into your soul like the Titanic did in the deep abyss of the North Atlantic Ocean.

What treasure are you seeking each day? Will it be worth anything when it all ends?

How are you making each day count?

Unless you live under a huge piece of the Mpg, you're acutely aware you have a finite amount of days left here on the Earth Ball.

If you're like most, you actively PUSH THAT THOUGHT of taking your last breath out of your mind when it creeps into your head like a frigid blast of winter air.

How are you wasting your time each day? Who could you have coffee with, spend time with, or do a video call????

Are you creating a lasting legacy that will be celebrated by your descendants at the dinner table for generations to come?

Or, are you consumed by pride, avarice, fear, or countless other pursuits or emotions that cause you to squander the PRECIOUS MOMENTS of your life that are eroding away each day like the sandy banks of a river during a flood?

If you could wave a magic wand right now, what treasure would you look for each day?

What can you do with each moment to make a positive lasting impression with those that are most important in your life?

Think about that until we meet again next Sunday.

Tim Carter

Founder - www.AsktheBuilder.com

Do It Right, Not Over! 

You don't get a redo with LIFE.